Overcoming Self Sabotage
We all have an inherent desire to achieve and succeed.
Some of us desire to achieve notoriety, power and financial success, some of us want change the world, and many of us simply want to change ourselves for the better. Each of us has the power to make what we want become reality.
Our Internal Conflicts
While we know we have the power to do great things, for some reason we often undermine our efforts to achieve the things we desire by refusing support, adopting an air of ambivalence or mediocrity, over-committing, being indecisive, or listening to our doubts. This is self-sabotage! Sometimes it is not a deficiency of desire, intelligence, skill, or effort that is holding us back, but an internal conflict or tug of war based on fear. We know what we want from life but consciously or sub-consciously we get in the way of our own efforts. There is a conflict between our desires and our feelings of self-worth and entitlement.
Taking the Easy Way Out
Maddison Taylor who writes for Daily OM states that “sabotaging behavior can affect your motivation and your drive. You may drown your strong desires in television or food, alcohol or recreational drugs to avoid facing potentially challenging situations, or simply retreat inward. Accepting challenges, growing, making tough decisions, and working hard can seem truly frightening. It is easier to continue doing what you've always done.
The Self Sabotage Cycle
But the more you ignore or turn away from the means to achieve your life's dreams, the more your self-esteem and confidence is damaged. In this way, self-sabotage is cyclical. You shy away from getting what you want and then believe you lack the ability to get what you want. Self-sabotage can cause you to have feelings of depression, frustration, discouragement, and even anger because you are working against yourself. If you feel you have sabotaged your own efforts, try to write down the times and circumstances in which you did so. Don't use the information to judge yourself. Rather, try to avoid similarly sabotaging yourself in the future.
Breaking the Cycle
In order to break your cycle of self sabotage, you need to recognize that all worthwhile goals will take determination, patience, organization, and a measure of confidence. Self-sabotage nearly always comes from feelings of inadequacy or reservedness, but these feelings can be overcome by giving yourself an extra portion of nurturing and challenge when you are working out a problem or formulating a long-term plan. All wants are special and valid, and learning to overcome self-sabotage is an important part of achieving what you desire.
Jennifer Grant International can help you to stop self-sabotaging and acquire the confidence and success you truly deserve. For more information on how you can work with me, take advantage of my Free 15 minute coaching session on Self Sabotage. https://jennifergrantinternational.com/book-a-consultation
Another article I found particularly helpful is https://inlpcenter.org/self-sabotaging-habits-to-stop-right-now/ Thank you Lisa Smith from iNLP center.